


cold

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Suicidal Thoughts, burning memories in a fire pit, its just polaroids, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24272431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: atsumu wants to forget everything. kiyoomi suggests throwing his memories into a fire pit.//"Omi-kun?" Atsumu looks up at him with slightly red eyes.Kiyoomi hums. It hurts so bad whenever Atsumu looks like this. "Yes?""I wanna forget," he says through sniffles. His face scrunches up and tears slip out of his eyes again seconds later. "P-Please, help me forget..."The raven nods. "Okay."
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 98





	cold

**Author's Note:**

> READ TAGS !!!! TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
> 
> i got this idea bc ive seen one two many tweets abt sakusa being an arsonist. and my brain was like "yes, but make it sad as fuck" and i jus said "ok sure good idea".

Atsumu is sad. No, scratch that. He's devastated. It's one of those days where he feels like the loneliest person in the world and maybe it wouldn't really matter if he jumped off the roof. Or he could slit his wrists and watch the red squiggles seep out until he collapses onto the cold floor of his bedroom. He wants to do it, but there's something holding him back.

There's a tiny yet prominent voice in the back of his head that keeps telling him that the world needs him; that it doesn't want him to leave so early. Atsumu doesn't believe it. He listens to it though.

His head is all fuzzy and he doesn't even hear the click of the doorknob. The fast shuffling of footsteps and the firm hand on his shoulder break him out of his trance. He looks up to find his roommate staring down at him with soft eyes dripping to the brim with concern. "Are you okay?" The deep voice rumbles through the dark quiet space of their living room.

Atsumu manages to offer a wry smile. "I'm fine." Kiyoomi nods slowly, not quite convinced as he slips down into the empty space on the couch next to Atsumu. "Do you want to talk about it?" He slightly presses his body into the blonde's. The warmth radiating off his body contrasts with the chill running through the whole apartment, since Atsumu didn't bother to turn on the heating system.

He purses his lips. "Just thinkin' 'bout Shouyou. I guess I miss him. I know it's kind of stupid... Since he wasn't even faithful."

"It's not your fault, you know?" Kiyoomi brings a hand up to Atsumu's head and makes him lean down on his shoulder. He plays with the locks of gold and waits patiently for him to speak again.

"Isn't that worse? The fact that I didn't do anything wrong and he still left me for another man." He rubs his eyes into Kiyoomi's shirt.

"His loss."

"I'm sorry I do this a lot... You must be annoyed," he apologises.

"It's okay. Just-" he stops mid-sentence. "You don't have to control your feelings. Just don't let them control you."

They sit in silently in the darkness while Kiyoomi continues to thread his fingers through Atsumu's soft hair. If Kiyoomi can feel the dampness soaking into his sweater, he says nothing about it.

"Omi-kun?" Atsumu looks up at him with slightly red eyes.

Kiyoomi hums. It hurts so bad whenever Atsumu looks like this. "Yes?"

"I wanna forget," he says through sniffles. His face scrunches up and tears slip out of his eyes again seconds later. "P-Please, help me forget..."

The raven nods. "Okay."

Atsumu finds himself in Kiyoomi's car at 2 a.m. He doesn't know where they're going, but he doesn't care. It feels cold even when the heater of the car is cranked up to almost it's maximum. Maybe it's due to the fact that it isn't his body that feels cold; it's his heart.

His thumb traces over the shoe box in his lap. It's full of polaroids and cards, all from Hinata. He had always wanted to get rid of them, so that he would forget. Every time he threw them out though, he would scamper back to the garbage bin and dig them out. How pathetic.

Kiyoomi agreed to help him forget in almost an instant. He asked Atsumu about the first step he's willing to take in order to forget. He pulled out the box in response. When Kiyoomi opened it and looked at it's contents, he just nodded and told Atsumu that they were going to get rid of it. He let Kiyoomi drape a thick coat over him and told him to get in the car in the gentlest voice ever.

They stop in front of a run down building and Kiyoomi pulls a mask up his face. He offers one to Atsumu who refuses it. "Let's go." Kiyoomi intertwines their fingers together.

He brings Atsumu to the back of the building where there's a dried out swimming pool. Kiyoomi hops inside it and encourages Atsumu to follow. The blonde only does when Kiyoomi extends his arms to catch him when he falls. Atsumu finds himself in an embrace when he lands in the swimming pool. Kiyoomi leads them to the corner.

There's a metal bin there, blackened from all the fires that started within it. He watches silently when Kiyoomi shoves dried leaves in it with his foot and takes out a lighter followed by an old receipt from his wallet. The light from the fire illuminates their surroundings softly. "Burn them," he instructs.

He cups both of Atsumu's cheeks. "It doesn't matter if it's all at once or one by one. I'll wait here for as long as it takes until the last one is gone."

A single tear rolls down Atsumu's cheek. "Thank you..."

"I've got you, yeah? Don't be scared."

Atsumu opens the box and takes out all the cards. They vary from Valentine's to birthdays to anniversaries to Christmas over the four years he spent together with Hinata. He scatters the Christmas cards into the bin first. Memories of hot chocolate and gingerbread house competitions flash through his mind and his heart clenches painfully.

He dumps in all the cards when he calms down. He looks to his side and Kiyoomi gives him a soft nod. He takes a deep breath before picking up a single polaroid and dropping it inside. He continues to burn five at a time. His restlessness is starting to subside when the pile shrinks.

He gets to the last polaroid and it's a picture of Hinata feeding him a slice of watermelon at the beach after a game of volleyball. He inhales sharply and sends it into the fire, watching the flames engulf it whole. "Should I get rid of the box too?" he asks Kiyoomi who looks at him with a proud smile.

"If you feel that it's necessary."

Those were the only words needed for Atsumu to throw the box in too. He watches the flames dance and his knees start to feel weak. He feels exhausted. "I'm tired, Omi."

"Then let's go home." He laces their fingers together again and helps Atsumu climb out of the pool. He falls asleep on the way home.

Atsumu wakes up with a mind that hasn't felt this clear in ages. He opens his eyes to find that he's not in his room. He turns around to Kiyoomi staring at him. "How are you?" he greets.

"It feels nice," Atsumu admits. "How did you find that place?"

Kiyoomi rubs his own face with his palms. "My friends brought me there on the last day of high school. They burned their textbooks there."

"Did you burn your's?" he questions.

"No, my mum would've killed me," Kiyoomi grimaces. He groans and sits up on the bed. "Go and take a shower. I'll make breakfast."

Atsumu smiles and it doesn't feel forced for once. It's still a bit cold, but he trusts Kiyoomi to guide him through the winter.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated ^^
> 
> my twt is @simp4sakusa if u wanna talk


End file.
